This is the most important question of all questions in my life for me, myself and I—Anonymous Andy—, a compulsive overeater and sugar addict.

Its relevance and answer impacts my life directly in terms of the quality of my life and the longevity of my life. Quality and magnitude is something of importance to most everything in life, including life itself.

How do I Avoid that First Compulsive Bite?

The answer is simple for normal eaters—just don’t take that first compulsive bite Anonymous Andy!

That answer is irrelevant for me. I have a disease—one that is infecting America and the rest of the world, one that we can all see in the sizes of our bodies and the amount of food and sugar we consume, and one that no one is acknowledging in personal one-on-one conversations or even in our hearts and minds. Wed are all still in denial and that includes me a lot of the time.

I long, I wish I was a normal eater and frequently have to prove to myself in a way that harms myself that I am not. I am a compulsive overeater and sugar addict.

When it comes to eating, normal eaters have willpower and a the sense to stop eating when they feel they are getting full and their hunger is satiated.

At times in my life I had willpower when it came to food, mostly in terms of being on a diet. No longer do I have power over food once I take that first compulsive bite of one of my binge foods or sugar.

I have will power in other areas of my life just not when it comes to my binge foods and sugar. I have to accept that as being true for me first.

This year is the Year of Transparency for me. I journal openly and honestly about my life. I need to continue to personally revive myself as I assist others in personally reviving themselves in all aspects of life, not just addictions such as compulsive overeating.

While sharing my world on PersonalRevivalist.com I am also transitioning my journals to am electronic format as well so that I have everything I need on my cell phone and this website. As I progress to a completely spiritual life first and foremost it makes sense that all I need is available to me electronically wherever I go.

Along these lines here is my script for what I do when I sense an urge to seek sugar or eat compulsively. I am grateful for Overeaters Anonymous (OA), my Abstinence, the Twelve Steps, my sponsors, and my OA Buddies walking this journey to Peace, Joy & Freedom—the Ultimate Love in Life with me.

It is not perfect just like me and may make no sense to anyone other than myself. It is a component, like other sources of inspiration and enabling programs, of my own personal TROML Program. It’s a start and it is evolving.

I absolutely love being Abstinent and working my TROML Program to the nth degree.

I can’t explain what it feels like to be more clear, present and engaged in life than ever before.

I have had long periods of freedom from obsession with food and it is where I want to be as I live out the rest of my life.

Another program called Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), as did Al-Anon, has released me from all the challenges associated with a childhood infected by the disease of alcoholism and aligned me with all the strengths recovered from that experience, especially when it comes to Emotional Maturity, Intelligence or Emotional Recovery, whatever it is called.

I would never have found these programs which are custom fitted for my life experience if I had not discover the TROML Process some 15 years ago. As an inspiration seeking umbrella program it naturally leads me to the right spiritual, mental, emotional and physical springs of knowledge and application at the right time. TROML is quite amazing and only takes 17 days to get started on your own TROML Journey that will change your life like it did mine.

 

With no further ado, here is the How do I Avoid that First Compulsive Bite? script of Anonymous Andy

How Do I Avoid that First Compulsive Bite?

OA Program of Action- Personal Choices

Pray & Meditate- Talk to my Higher Power (HP)- Is this HP’s Will for Me?

?4 Ask HP 4?

(Free Self, Direct Thinking, Inspire Decisions, Show Next Step)

?4 Ask Myself 4?   Trusting or Silly Ego

(Perfectionism, Control, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Judgementalism)

Use the 9 OA Tools of Abstinence

Use OA Tool 1: A Plan of Eating

What am I overeating over?

Use OA Tool 5: Writing (Journal)

Do Not Isolate

Trust, Feel & Share

Use OA Tool 4: Telephone (Call or text an OA Buddy)

Use OA Tool 2: Sponsorship (Call my Sponsor, Be a Sponsor)

Use OA Tool 6: OA Literature

Read Pamphlets- First Compulsive Bite & Just For Today

CHOICES- another activity, go to sleep

Set Timer for 12 Minutes

Use OA Tool 3: Meetings (Go to a Meeting or Call-in to a Meeting)

Telephone Meetings (24 hours a day, 365 days a year)

I will not emotionally abandon myself through compulsive overeating and sugar addiction.

Journal Feelings & Emotions: (I feel X when Y happens because of Z)

Feel the Feeling, Accept it Completely

I will not escape from my feelings, self-medicate, or anesthetize myself with food or sugar.

I will be in conscious contact with my Higher Power.

Use OA Tool 7: An Action Plan

Use OA Tool 8: Service

Use OA Tool 9: Anonymity

 

Have a TROML Day Today!

Your Personal Revivalist,

Anonymous Andy

Like being impacted by the disease of alcoholism, divorce is a terrible thing. I know, I have experienced both. No matter the circumstances involved, going through a divorce is a terrible thing because you are forced to enter a new, yet unknown life. Whether you wanted it or not, the change is sudden no matter how long you saw it coming. Divorce puts you out there in the unknown between the life which at one time was your dream life and the dream you are now living which might feel more like a nightmare, especially if young children or even if adult children are involved.

Religion sees marriage as a holy and divinely established covenant that is now broken. We are like that trapeze artist high above, with no safety nets below, traveling from one platform in life to another having to let go of the rope behind us and grab the lifeline out there in front of us. Sometimes instead of a bar to grasp there is another person to grab on to which may seem to help us in the transition or life beyond the divorce. Hopefully so, or possibly not when we arrive at the next platform in life.

Whatever the case, when we get divorced we never do it perfectly of course because we become two broken people going opposite ways on those platforms and trying to take our kids along with us. I have never seen that act performed in a circus, even Cirque du Soleil, but many of us have tried to do so in real life with mixed results.

Once we realize we are not perfect in life, and divorce can be our first public testimony to that, where do we go from there?

I chose to go within myself with TROML, thinking that if I can improve myself then any relationship, whether it be with a spouse, an ex-spouse, friend or at work, will improve as well. Actually I was doing TROML before I was divorced and it helped prepare me for and to make the transition to a new life. Since being divorced, I have been doing TROML and feel ready for a second marriage that will last the rest of my life.  

One thing I learned is that you can’t love a God or anyone else that you fear. You can’t love anyone that you resent or don’t have a relationship built on honesty. You can’t love anyone else if you can’t get past your own ego and selfishness. This is true, of course, with our relationship with ourselves. God or something we believe in more than ourselves, must be involved. Things like perfectionism, control, all-or-nothing thinking and judgmentalism must be rooted out of any relationship for it to be successful.

TROML definitely helped me in these growth areas. I learned to go back to my childhood, re-parent myself and by so doing reaffirm and in some cases redefine my relationship with God. Starting TROML with honesty and then developing humility and willingness brought me to real acceptance of the nature of life, myself and others. The first step is always acceptance of what is. Then come the choices of what can be. TROML makes them easier, more focused and ultimately successful.

The second thing I learned is that I don’t have to be perfect to help myself or others. In fact, having weaknesses or failures in life is a prerequisite for personal growth and being of service to others. I used to think I had to first be perfect, in terms of religion, then I would be able to help others. Now I realize that we are all spiritually connected and in fact we can help each other through our imperfections. Together we rise to a perfectly imperfect life. TROML Baby is what I say to that.

Thanks for connecting with me today. My wish for you whether you are contemplating divorce, going through a divorce or recovering from a divorce is that you find peace, joy and freedom in life—The Ultimate Love.

Please let me know if I can help you with your journey in life.  TROML worked for me and I am sure it can work for you.

Have a TROML Day today!

Your Personal Revivalist,

Anonymous Andy

When I look back at times in my life I cringe at some of my thoughts, words and behaviors.

I left my marriage because I thought it wasn’t as inspiring as it should be. I left my corporate career because I felt I deserved to be inspired at work and was not being inspired.

Early on in my adult child singleness, I once went back to an Al-Anon meeting looking for an answer to my self-centered question—I had an alcoholic in my life by birthright, why on Earth would I ever want to date one?

I cringe at some of my thoughts, words and actions, sometimes as recent as last week and sometimes too from today.

I am only human after all.

Please take a moment to CLICK here and listen to “I am Only Human after All” by The Parlotones.

My dishonesty, rationalizations and justifications can often turn the lies into truths for me. I have to be careful not to create my own living hell, one in which my spirit finds it difficult to live and grow within me.

In all the work God has done within me these last fifteen years of TROML I can now, to a much better extent,  accept, love and have compassion for myself; the same acceptance, love and compassion He has for me. God never leaves me, I leave Him.

Indeed acceptance, love and compassion of self was the seed God planted in me to root me in Him, even though it may have appeared differently in my life, I had stopped all the unnecessary and random movement away from Him. Through my TROML Journals these past fifteen years I found a new version of God and a new me.

Looking back, when I thought my marriage and career were not inspiring, in reality, it was me that was not being the inspiring one. I still cringe when I look back and that is God’s intuition in me to learn, grow and go on living a life as close to Him as possible.

Looking to the future, I cringe with the knowledge and acceptance that when I look back five years from now, I will be cringing then at some of my thoughts, words and actions from today. That’s the evolutionary cycle for all of us, get real and accept reality.

There is progress in my life but I am not and never will be perfect.

At best with His help and yours I can hope to be imperfectly perfect for the rest of my life.

I feel at peace; I also feel joyful and free now. This is what I consider to be The Ultimate Love in life and beyond. Thank you God and others for bearing with me which means you have loved me despite experiencing my bad along with the good in me.

I rejoice in my free human will. I rejoice in the fact that I have the freedom to make choices in the way I live my life. I pray for the knowledge of God’s Will for me and the power to carry out His Will for me in my lifetime.

We are all beautiful in our imperfections and God’s perfection within each one of us.

Please take a moment to CLICK here and listen to “We are All Beautiful” by The Parlotones.

We are all human and beautiful after all.

I know the ‘we’ is every other person in this world whether or not their God is manifested through Jesus like mine or via another faith in Muhammed, the Torah, Buddha or another religion or spirituality of one’s own choosing. Or a belief that questions religion or spirituality or one that believes in no religion or spirituality at all.

‘We’ are ‘us.’

You are human and beautiful.

Let’s first be who we are supposed to be to ourselves and forget about imposing our beliefs on another.

Let’s let our thoughts, words, and actions and our own version of The Ultimate Love speak and demonstrate each of us to the world.

For then we will all be human, beautiful and divinely inspired after all and what a beautiful world it will be. One of peace, joy and freedom—an Ultimate Loving World.

Have a TROML Day Today!

Your Personal Revivalist,

Anonymous Andy

 

The Lyrics of “I am Only Human after All”

(Courtesy of The Parlotones & MetroLyrics)

And if the karma patrol
Take control
I'm gonna be in trouble
And if the moral police
Asks for receipts
I am gonna burst their bubble

Richen, smidgen
Muddy, smutty
Who is your god?
I'm not the type to pray, except when I fall
I'm only human after all

I played the devil's advocate
I played into his hands
I played the fool, I played the fire
I played the victim's hand

And if you bump into the devil
Tell him I understand
Rather the devil you know
Than the devil you don't
I hope you can understand
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all

I fell into the trap
I fell into her lap
I ate the apple of lust lust lust
the apple tree of lust

Richen, smidgen
Muddy, smutty
Who is your god?
I'm not the type to pray, except when I fall
I'm only human after all

I played the devil's advocate
I played into his hands
I played the fool, I played the fire
I played the victim's hand

And if you bump into the devil
Tell him I understand
Rather the devil you know
Than the devil you don't
I hope you can understand
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all

I played the devil's advocate
I played into his hands
I played the fool, I played the fire
I played the victim's hand

And if you bump into the devil
Tell him I understand
Rather the devil you know
Than the devil you don't
I hope you can understand
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all

The Lyrics of “We are All Beautiful”

(Courtesy of The Parlotones & MetroLyrics)

Wish upon a falling star
the passion patrol
accept us for who we are

We've gone and lost control, oh no
The outline of miracle
required to be traced
eliminate the need for thrills
we all need to be saved today
 

And you are all beautiful
and you are all magical
deserve to be adored
deserve to be adored
 

The science of all of this
is a parodied poem
avoid it with swinging fists
 

Don't want to be alone, oh no
There's romance in bitterness,
say the borderline patrol,
differentiate happiness,
the borderline patrol
 

And you are all beautiful
and you are all magical
deserve to be adored
deserve to be adored
 

I tell you for free
this is just formula
this is just chemistry

None of this is real to me
 

And you are all beautiful
and you are all magical
deserve to be adored
deserve to be adored

These Nine Thoughts from Overeaters Anonymous… and my personal insights, Anonymous Andy…

Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for one day the would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

I am abstinent with 5-1/2 hours left in the day. I have reached out to a couple of OA buddies and both responded back, one with “Just for today I’ll be abstinent with you!” I am not alone. This disease of compulsive overeating and sugar addiction is one of isolation. I will not abandon myself. God is here with me if I seek him in this moment of desperation. Compulsively overeating and compulsively overeating sugar will only add a problem to my life and confuse me, delay me, try to stop me from arriving at my destiny. I can do this, live without compulsively overeating or compulsively overeating sugar for “the rest of today” which is the most important part of “the rest of my life.”

Just for Today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.

For the rest of today, abstinence, acceptance and the Twelve Steps is the answer to all my problems. I know that—absolutely, positively, without a doubt. I don’t need to change the world or what happened yesterday or try to control what will happen tomorrow. I can only be me, the best me, for the rest of today living without fear, anger or resentment, dishonesty or self-centeredness. I don’t have to be perfect, in control, think only one way or exactly the opposite way or be overly judgemental of myself, the world or others. If I am abstinent, accepting and honestly working to be the best person I can be for the rest of today then this peace, joy and freedom I have found along the way on my journey in life will remain with me. My lucky life fits me well.

Just for Today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

I have to be abstinent from sugar and compulsive eating to strengthen my mind as suggested. For me it only works in life when I pray and meditate and come from the inside out and act upon that intuition and inspiration, versus simply reacting to the world around me. Being able to do this takes effort, thought and concentration. I am ready and willing to do this because I want to be on my A-game mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually for the rest of today.

Just for Today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be be hurt, but for today I will not show it.

I am my own best friend and my own best friend is God. I have a personal relationship with a Higher Power (HP) and share my feelings and my soul continuously with HP. I am active today, I am moving around, getting outside of myself and following God’s will for me to the best of my ability for the rest of today. My feelings and emotions are important and I share them in an intimate way with God and trusted family and friends. I can accept how I feel today without a need to compulsively overeat or compulsively overeat sugar to self medicate, anesthetize myself or escape. I will trust, share and feel and not isolate.

Just for Today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

I will embrace the second Spiritual Principle of my Daily Script—when something outside of myself bothers, irritates or threatens my peace, joy & freedom, I know there is something wrong with me and I will look within for the reason and remedy within my spirit, mind, emotions & body.

Just for Today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

My program is TROML, for the rest of today, for the rest of my life! I will follow my Daily Script—when I am anxious, doubtful, indecisive, unsure or slipping on my abstinence I will ask God to 1) free me of myself, my ego; 2) direct my thinking; 3) inspire my decisions; & 4) show me the next step to take. I will pause and take a TROML Timeout when needed. I will be accepting, loving and compassionate to myself at all times. I will not abandon myself or be abandoned by God in times of  trouble.

Just for Today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

I Pray & Meditate in Morning & Evening. I find a quiet, safe, comfortable place, begin with noticing breath & heartbeat, be present… I AM abundant love, inspired by God, powered by God to do His Will with the life of Anonymous Andy. I AM peaceful, joyous & free transitioning to a Spiritual Life while here on Earth. I AM grateful for the gift of life and live to give love in any way possible for “the rest of my life.” TROML Baby AM I. My eyes open Upon Awakening to an Inspirational Thought Life. I silence any harsh, critical inner voice. I have a TROML Perspective on the rest of today and the rest of my life!

Just for Today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

I am grateful for this gift of life, my health, all my family and friends in life and those departed that still inspire me this very day. I am grateful for my abstinence today, for the Twelve Steps and TROML. I am grateful for my life of peace, joy and freedom.

The Combined Twelve Step & ACA Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things and people I cannot change, the courage to change the things and one person I can, and the wisdom to know the difference and that that one person is me

Only 4 more hours left to be abstinent in the rest of today…

Have a TROML Day Today!

Your Personal Revivalist,

Anonymous Andy

 

Today is the Day I Realized God is More Powerful than My Ego!

I know that sounds a bit odd.

How could the ego of one human being ever think it could be as powerful as God?

How could one human being ever think it could be as powerful as God?

How could any human being ever think it could be as powerful as God?

Our minds rationalize, justify, survive and thrive, on both a conscious and subconscious level, more than we will ever know.

Initially, ever since that first cry as a newborn and subsequent accommodation with nourishment, warmth and safety, we naturally thought we were the center of the universe and all we had to do was cry and we could control our universe.

Sure, we grew up, learned how to share, be part of a family, be sociable and become a part of a community, but have we ever mentally investigated the depth, breath and power of our own ego?

I knew ego came in two varieties—the innate ego with a balanced instinct for security, food, shelter, reproductive and social completeness and the other overly misguided and misused, self-centered, selfish and imperious ego.

Fear, resentments, dishonesty and that imperious ego can ruin our lives or cause one portion of our lives to go astray.

For me, a compulsive overeater and sugar addict, that one portion of my life astray was food, specifically sugary foods like deserts, candy, and ice cream.

I have prayed to be relieved of this addiction, worked the Twelve Steps and sought abstinence from sugar and compulsive eating behaviors.

Success has come day-by-day, I am approached my healthy body weight with great hope of being able to maintain it long term one day at a time.

Today was a special day for me in terms of a TROML Realization or what others would call a Spiritual Awakening.

I thought about something today that I never really thought about before.

For this human being, Anonymous Andy, I realized God is more powerful than my ego at all times, no matter what the circumstances, but especially when it comes to choices about food.

Maybe I took Step 2 with a belief that God is a Power greater than myself or my ego, or Step 3 turning my will and my life over to God or maybe it was Step 11  with a new level of conscious contact. or maybe it was all three.

What ever it is, it is and will now be within my spirit and continue to be with me on my journey to an abundance of peace, joy, and freedom.

I trust, I feel and I share my experience, strength and hope.

My strength, God-given, just got stronger, within me, than my ego.

I feel a sense of relief, comfort and inspiration.

I am eternally grateful.

Life is good!

Have a TROML Day Today!

Your Personal Revivalist,

Anonymous Andy

I can’t make myself feel any different than I do.

Nor would I want to as I grow in TROML and seek inspiration and truth in my life.

Having feelings and emotions is part of living life as a human being. Feeling feelings is that subtle difference between being a human being versus a human doer if you know what I mean.

I grew up in a typical “don’t trust, don’t talk and don’t feel” alcoholic home. It was a loving home where love, sacrifice and understanding were present most of the time but when push came to shove the response was not “let’s talk about this, share our feelings, and go on from there” in a calm , trusting way. It was more of a “I need to survive the chaos, I can’t trust, talk or feel right now.” environment at difficult times. That was me, another child growing up in a similar situation may have reacted much differently.

How did I learn, as a man, to feel my feelings and accept them as a legitimate part of life that was important to my overall health and well being?

I realized that I was not God. God is God. That means whatever you believe in or don’t believe in, in terms of a Higher Power, you are not. It is a much different perspective than the world would lead you to believe in. I have yet to see a commercial which concludes even if you don’t buy my product or service that you will be fine. The world always says, it seems. that we need something outside of ourselves to be happy.

I have been trying to become more emotionally mature in my TROML program and escape the world’s perspective through active inspiration seeking and TROML Journaling for the past 15 years. Surrendering and accepting we don;t have complete control in life is a simple spiritual concept, easy to understand and believe, but difficult to implement in our thoughts, words and actions in life.

From Twelve Step programs I have learned to accept people, places, things and situations beginning with God and me.

How did I do this?

By praying and meditating, living and making mistakes and being as humble and willing as I could and letting a section called “Upon Awakening” on Page 86 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous come to me in a special way that I understand and can act on.

Now, when I feel indecisive, anxious, agitated, doubtful, or basically any other feeling that surprises me or doesn’t make sense to me, I ask God these four questions:

God, I ask You to free me of my self, my ego and my self-will. I take the helicopter ride that I learned about in Corporate America up to a higher viewpoint and perspective. Through God I can see and be open-minded 360 degrees and mindful with a view of myself, my situation and other people, places and things. But most importantly I see it in a way free of any self-seeking motives. The view is clear and present because I am momentarily out of self, ego and my will.

God, I ask You to direct my thinking. This is different than playing God and trying to direct other people. Yes, there are times in life where being a supervisor or manager at work, a wife or husband or a mother or father requires us to make a decision for others to follow, do and implement. But even in those situations, as human beings, it is best to seek to have God or your Higher Power to direct your thinking. What are my motives here, do they make sense in God’s loving world?

This second question helps me with trusting, sharing and feeling feelings and emotions as an adult, especially in difficult and trying situations with all sorts of people. When I think about my relationship with myself, what I think about myself and how I treat myself with words and behaviors and I ask God to direct my thinking an unexpected feeling of peace, joy and freedom comes to me.

When I am out of self, God directs me to be accepting, loving and compassionate towards my self. This is something that was and sometimes still is very difficult for me to do—being one’s own harshest critic is not a healthful thing to have inside our core for our well being. I find it true that unless I first truly accept, love and be compassionate to myself it is difficult to truly be that way to others.

God, I ask You to inspire my thoughts is the third question. Questions One & Two help me get to an inspirational thought-life and detect when I am not aligned with God’s will for me. This is a check that my motives are pure, not based on fear, resentment or dishonest and self-centered motives.

Usually by now the path forward or decision has become clear. The fourth question follows from the first three.

God, I ask You to show me the next step to take today. Sometimes that step is to do nothing.

Payne Stewart, known to the world as a golfer, who was called Home all too soon from a worldly perspective, was a spiritual-minded man that wore a W.W.J.D. bracelet —What would Jesus do?

For me, being aligned with God’s Will keeps me in fit spiritual shape and gives me God’s Power to overcome and recover from my disease of compulsive overeating and being a sugar addict. It also helps me overcome my character defects and shortcomings on an ongoing, day-to-day basis.

Instead of going directly from feeling uncomfortable feelings to compulsively and emotionally overeating I can take a TROML Timeout and make better decisions on the run.

I am not perfect. If you know me personally you already know that.

But with TROML and God’s Inspiration I am the best I can be today and that includes being a human being and feeling my feelings.

That in turn gives me the opportunity to pause, not react and act on God’s Will, with God’s Power, when needed in life.

To feel or not feel?

What will you do?

Have a TROML Day Today!

Anonymous Andy

Your Personal Revivalist

 

 

For me, sugar is a self-imposed selfish spiritual sickness, no more, no less than if I were an alcoholic.

I know that now. I didn’t know that then when I was using it to survive in life or rather when I was dying, killing myself in order to try to survive in life.

There is no doubt that abusing and being addicted to sugar has held me back in life. Not necessarily in the worldly sense but surely in the personal, private and inward sense. I use to think my problem was the shame, guilt and emotional abandonment from a childhood exposed to alcoholism. For a time it was but that time has passed and now the problem is me.

It is no longer someone else’s disease that is holding me back in life. It is my disease of compulsive eating and sugar addiction that is isolating me from complete peace, joy and freedom in life.

I am a compulsive overeater and sugar addict.

I need to be honest with myself, God (he already knows that yet still accepts, loves and is compassionate towards me), and you.

Most of you have no idea what I am talking about so it is hard for you to accept this disease with me and support me as I disassociate food consumption from enjoyment, from a way for us to celebrate events in life and most importantly from my disease so I can live as normal a life as possible and be all that God wills me to be.

When I consume sugar it demoralizes me physically, mentally and emotionally. It is a spiritual sickness for me. I don’t know why it changes me in the moment of consumption and for hours afterwards but it does.

Please don’t try to help me understand it, rationalize it and come to the conclusion that I can have a little bit and that moderation is the answer. It doesn’t work for me that way, believe me I have tried everything. I need to disassociate myself from sugar and unhealthy food behaviors. That is the only way for me to be healthy.

You can help me to stay away from situations where I customarily overeat. Try to understand why I don’t want to go back to our favorite restaurant or celebrate a holiday the way we have always celebrated a holiday. You can’t protect me from sugar no matter how much you like and love me. I have to do it for myself. I understand that you are likely a normal eater so enjoy your sugar, but please respect my  abhorrence to it.

I need to separate my fears, resentments, dishonesty and selfishness from sugar. Consuming sugar and escaping, anesthetizing myself and burying my feelings and emotions is not a healthy habit for me.

I need to trust, to share my life’s reality and to feel my feelings and emotions.

Please enter into that type of friendship and relationship with me.

I accept that I am a compulsive overeater and sugar addict.

The reality is that sugar will impact my longevity and quality of life. Obesity, heart disease and diabetes are real threats to me going forward in life. The only known health issue I have now is being about 20 pounds heavier than my healthy body weight of 225 pounds.

I was there at 225 pounds for a month this summer for the first time in a long time, probably dating back to the very early 2000s just before my mother died and September 11th happened within hours of each other. There was a steady rise and then an explosion after my divorce, job changes and relocations. My recorded peak was at 336 pounds but likely my real peak was at 360 pounds. No one, including me, wants to get on a scale and take a picture at the darkest, loneliest and  most disappointing moment of our lives.

But I need to own and accept that moment. Know that it is a real possibility to happen again and do everything I can to not return to that point of desperation.

Your help, nutrition and exercise knowledge and practice, any and all diets and diet clubs could not save me. Mine was a problem of emotional and spiritual sickness, not a mental or physical problem to overcome. Self knowledge and intellect are good but can only go so far in matters like these.

My last 15 years of journaling and utilizing the TROML process has brought me to the right physical, mental, emotional and spiritual help at the right time in my life.

I am exactly where I need to be.

I know my problem is me and my relationship to sugar and compulsive overeating. Not you or our relationship.

I know abstinence, eating three meals this day with nothing in between and no sugar is the only solution for me.

I know this is God’s will for me, to remain in recovery and share my experience, strength through Him, and hope.

I need to take Step One and know and admit that I am powerless over sugar and compulsive overeating. Because of this disease and the associated diseased thinking that I can solve it myself is when my life becomes unmanageable.

Having accepted this reality in my life I and my thinking and emotions become part of the solution and I can leave the manifestation of the problem behind.

I enjoy life living in the solution, being hopeful, at peace with joy in my heart with the freedom to be all that God wants me to be here in this life and beyond.

I hope I am joining you where you are in life but if you are not there then come and join us!

Have a TROML Day today!

Your Personal Revivalist

Anonymous Andy